Just breath

 On my last trip, I finally got to do something I have been looking forward to for a long time! My first scuba dive!. No pictures, unfortunately, so I made an art instead.

As a beginner, I was with an instructor the whole time, and I got to see coral reef. It was an incredible experience. Though being a first timer, it took some time to get used to the scuba diving process. The biggest is to control my breathing and just let the body relax.

At first I was doing well with the breathing and diving deeper, then I felt the underwater pressure and it hit me that I have never been underwater for so long and a strong desire to breathe through my nose came up as my mind was convinced I couldn't breathe anymore.

Then spiraling into thinking up all the ways it could go wrong. That's when my breathing got too fast. My throat was too dry. Panic, I had to go up for air.

I breathed, calmed down, and got my mind to a better place. Practiced my breaths and went back under. I was not about to let that stop me as I have been looking forward to this experience for too long.Then I was able to just focus on regulating my internal world. While enjoying being guided into the underwater corals by my instructor. I was doing great, breathing slowly, calmly, and enjoying the scenery.

Then it came up again, the panic, not because I was doing anything wrong, but because I was doing something unfamiliar. Though I have lots of swimming experience. So I kept reminding myself that being in water is natural for me. This calmed me down and let me enjoy it more.

After the dive, my whole body felt so refreshed, clear, calm, and open. I could not explain. Like I have visited my long lost home. I look forward to my next dive.

This serves as a reminder that in life, sometimes when you are doing something new and everything is going well. Fear of the unfamiliar can creep up and try to convince us that we are not safe, that we are somehow not meant to do this, and that it's not our natural state.

But the thing is, learning, exploring, growing, challenging ourselves, is our natural state. It's how we have always grown. Sometimes, throwing yourself into something unfamiliar is what you need.